1: Proactive
What does it mean to be proactive? Psychologist Viktor Franklin says “we cannot change what happens around us” but how we respond to it is in our hands. Being proactive means that whatever opinions other people give or whatever their behavior is, we do not have to be affected by it. When people say something bad about us, the fault is not in us but in them. The negative things they say about you reveal their own negative view of how they see the world. Being proactive also means that you should not be affected by any bad situation. Then whether the weather is bad or the traffic, but a proactive person will not mind.
Bad times or poverty may come in his life, but he will be happy in any situation. A proactive person will continue to do his work even in the worst of circumstances without complaining. The opposite of proactive is reactive. And those who are reactive get affected by their environment very quickly. If something bad happens to them, they themselves become negative. Once when author Stephen Covey was giving a lecture in Sacramento, suddenly a woman stood up from the crowd. She was saying something very excited that only then her eyes fell on the people who were staring at her. Seeing people staring like this, the woman sat back. After finishing his lecture, Stephen Covey went to that woman.
They came to know that the woman was actually a nurse and was taking full time care of a very sick patient. That patient of his used to shout at him all the time. In his eyes, she used to do everything wrong. He had never even said thank you to that nurse. Because of all these things, that woman used to be very sad. She was not at all happy with her job. Proactivity was also the subject of Stephen Covey’s lecture that day. Covey was explaining that if you are proactive then nothing can hurt you. No one can hurt you unless you yourself want to. That woman got excited after listening to this lecture because she came to know that whether to respond or not is in her hands.
She told Kovi “I had chosen to be sad myself but now I have realized that being sad or happy is in my hands but now the behavior of another person cannot control me. The mood of a reactive person is like a TV whose remote control is in the hands of the world. Whenever someone wants, he can change the mood of that reactive person. But a productive person is one who has kept the remote control of his mood with him. A productive person does not care what other person is thinking or saying about him.
2: Begin with the end in mind
What is the most important thing in your life? By starting with the end in your mind, we mean that all your actions should match your values, your purpose. Your final goal / your destination should be known so that every step of yours goes in that direction. We face many problems many times. We have to be concerned about something or the other every day. And there are so many challenges in life that many times we forget what is the most important thing for us. As you have to take care of your children, they have to provide everything.
But you work so hard for this that you are not able to spend time with them. You forget that more than material things, they also need your love and support. If you really love your children, then show them every day that how much you love them. Your love for them should be reflected in your words and your actions. And your same behavior should be with your parents and other people who matter a lot in your life. Begin with the end in mind means knowing what is most valuable to you. They can be your own people, or your principal on whom you have full faith.
If you do something which does not match with your principal then you are becoming an ineffective person.
Suppose you are building a house. But for this, first of all you have to plan in your mind and then you will go and take the tools. If you have children in your house then every corner of your house should be child friendly. If you are fond of cooking, then you will have to upgrade your kitchen. So before starting any work, its blue print should be clear in your mind. If you have not planned your house properly then it will be difficult to construct it properly. And in the last you will have to spend a lot of money to get it repaired.
Everything in life demands planning..and in the same way the journey begins keeping the end in mind. Think what you have to do first. And make sure that it fits with your values. Do you value honesty the most? Or do you value respect more? Keeping this in mind, start your day. Have complete faith in your values. So that whatever challenges come in your life, you can face those challenges according to your values.
3: Do the important things first.
First of all, doing important things does not mean only time management. It is also self management. As humans, we all are self aware. And this thing makes us superior in all living things. Because only we humans can evaluate ourselves and when we feel that we are doing something wrong then we can change it. When we have to do many things, first of all we should set our priorities. Some people take the help of planners so that they remember. Some people make to-do lists and boards so that they remember the important work. But in spite of all this many times we are not able to complete our very important work on time.
Self-discipline is not your problem when your priorities are not met. The real problem is that you have not set your priorities in your mind. Haven’t you considered why this is your top priority? Why is this important to you? Just think about it. This will motivate you more. “Managing time is not a challenge but managing yourself” Do the important things first “This means keeping your priorities on the first number. This also means that you learn to say “no” when needed. When you have a lot of work to do, then say no to those tasks which are not a part of your priorities.
For example, Sandra was asked to become the chairman of a community project. But he already had important tasks but under pressure he had to say yes. Sandra asked her neighbor Connie if she would also like to join the project. After listening to Sandra, Kony said, “Sandra, this project sounds like a lot of fun…but due to some reasons, I will not be able to participate in it, but I really appreciate your invitation. ,
After that Sandra felt that she should have done the same as Connie did. She too could politely say “no” when she was asked to become the chairman. This project was good for the community but Connie knew her top priorities so she did not speak. He had other important things to do. And that’s why he dared not speak politely. If you plan your priorities well in your heart and mind then it will be easy for you to say no to other things. And you will also be able to easily complete your important work on time. It is more important than self-discipline that you have will power so that you can tackle the important tasks first.
4: Think win win
Win Win is a solution that will give immense benefits to you and the people you interact with. Whenever you have any issue with your family and colleagues, then a solution has to be found so that everyone will be benefited. Win win is the best solution. If one wins and the other loses, it will not lead to a long and strong relationship. Imagine that you have a disagreement with your colleague, then you have to do this, whatever the problem is, you have to talk openly about it. Find a solution that is right for both of you. But do not let your colleague dominate you, nor should you dominate him. There should be a balance between both of you in which both of you win.
In this way, there will be cooperation between you and your colleague, so that you can work like a team. It is much better than competing with each other. Now imagine that you are the boss and you have a disagreement with one of your employees, then it is obvious that your point of view will remain above because your employee will remain silent in front of you because of his job. Being a boss, you may win the argument with him, but if you see in the long run, it will be your defeat. Because you cannot motivate your employees by degrading them. He will work for you but by beating your heart. So overall the loss is yours.
It is always good to compromise, even if you are the boss. It would be better for you not to use your position. You have more benefit in keeping your employees happy. If you always settle win win situation then your employees will be more effective. And this will also be beneficial for your company, as well as you will not have to hire people again and again and train them. Win win situation is not applicable only at work place. This is applicable in all types of relationships. Whenever you have a disagreement with your partner, your children, friends or neighbors, think about win win situation.. Then you will see how more love and trust will come in your every relation.
5: First try to understand others then expect others to understand you
Do you remember when was the last time someone shared their problems with you? And did you really listen to him? Did you understand their feelings before giving advice? First you try to understand others and then expect them to understand you. This is the way of good communication. We communicate through our writing, reading, speaking and listening. In childhood, we spend years in learning to write, read and speak. But there is no such training to listen to someone properly. The best way to communicate with someone is to first try to understand what they want to say.
Good listening is when you think keeping yourself in the situation of the other person. Only then you will be able to understand correctly what that person wants to say. When you don’t listen, you start replying without understanding that person, but when you try to understand, then only you come to know how that person is really feeling. And when you listen to someone in this way, then only you will be able to give good advice to that person or really help them.
Once a man went to an optometrist. He had some vision problem. The man told the optometrist that he could not see anything clearly. So what did the optometrist do that he gave the man his glasses the optometrist said “Wear these, I’ve been wearing these glasses for the last 10 years and I can see clearly I have an extra pair at home so you Wear the ones”. The man obeyed the optometrist and put on those glasses but to no avail, instead he started to see even more blurred.
“These are very good glasses, you try more to see properly” the optometrist said, then the man tried again but despite his best efforts, wearing the glasses of that optometrist, he could not see anything clearly. Now the optometrist told him to think positive. On this the man replied “Ok, even now I am not able to see anything clearly positively” The optometrist got upset after hearing this. Because after all he just wanted to help that man. He felt that maybe that man is lying and is ungrateful.
Many times we also behave in the same way as that optometrist. We keep saying “if I were in your place” or “obey me”. But we never try that how that person is really feeling. And the result of this is that that person will never trust us. Nor will he ever bring his problem to us again. If you really want to help someone, then first try to understand them. By doing this you can win their trust. And they will be convinced that there is no motive behind your action, just a desire to help. Then they too will start understanding you.
Synergy means “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” i.e. when one person helps another, together they can accomplish a lot. When a team member works together with another team member, they together can achieve much more than a single person. Whenever there is a natural disaster or calamity like fire, typhoon or earthquake, people get synergized, that is, they work together and come forward to help the people in trouble. Then people forget their differences. Difficult situations bring the feelings of co-operating inside the people. And everyone immediately does it together to survive.
6: Synergize
Synergy also means cooperate or collaboration. It also means walking together and combined effort. No matter which group it is, if there is synergy among themselves, then it will definitely get its benefit. But the problem is that this synergy does not happen everyday in our life. People do not want to remove their differences among themselves. They find it very difficult. Because everyone has a different point of view, different way of thinking. We see this world from a different point of view because we see this world according to our own opinion. We have to understand that our perspective of seeing the world is limited, that’s why our thinking also becomes limited.
We have a special need to know other people and understand their experience. It’s like an optical illusion..maybe what I see as a young lady, you see as an old woman, we both are interpreting that image differently though both of us are right in our place. So there is no point in arguing on this matter. To synergize, we have to understand each other’s point of view. And in this way we can see a bigger picture.
Synergy means cooperation. This means accepting your differences and respecting each other’s views. Never try to prove that only you are right and the other person is wrong. Try to understand from that person’s point of view as well. This will only increase your knowledge and there will be no harm. There are many other alternatives better than arguing. When you start respecting the views of others, then you can work together with them. You can create many new and good things by cooperating and working together.